I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Don't make out with my wife yet
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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