I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
