I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
