Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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