I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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