69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
