PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
