Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
