their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
