Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
