That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
