he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
high people should be assigned attendants
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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