Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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