at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my phone needs a breathalizer
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
