Sponge bath it is.
oh god the rape fog is back!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
