i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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