just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
