I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
