If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize