How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
