My nipple is on Facebook.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
