dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
