He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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