guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
