sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Panties = found
Randomize
