Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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