It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
