I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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