if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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