White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
