Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
