we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
