I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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