So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
