No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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