My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
