guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
