that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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