did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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