I think I died a long time ago.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
