yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
