My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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