have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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