hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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