So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The beer is more important than you right now.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
