i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
