Sponge bath it is.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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