You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
