The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize