before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
