Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
