I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
