you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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