so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
