Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
