No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
