soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
