Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
