I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
