Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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